current mood music.

here.

feelings

So here I am. Writing. Why? Well that has quite a simple answer. I'm down, and not just kind down. Really down. I feel as if I have no one around me who gives a fuck as to what I do. I care so much about other people, I help them through things I talk to them just to see how they are doing, and yet no one ever asks me  "how you doing man?", or just "what have you been up to lately?". It's very likely I've done this to myself. Maybe I have some huge flaw something that just turns people off. Anyways. I just hole myself up in my room listening to music, djing and sometimes producing till 3 in the morning as well as researching some of the oddest topics (healthy therapy right? *sarcasm*). As a product of this I have picked up incredible observation skills. I notice traits of other people and can pick them apart, as in just understand them I don't mean that in a rude way, like nothing. Oh well. In combination with college applications, and my parent's divorce I'm not doing so hot, but the train keeps a chuggin.

Dabbling in psychology.

I had this thought yesterday: do people know more about things but feel pressured by society to act oblivious?

This thought sprouted from a bit of eavesdropping I partook in the other day. I heard one kid say this oft mentioned phrase "you know like that gangmen style or something like that" as if he either didn't show pride in know what he was talking about, knew what he was talking about but didn't want to show his pride, or just didn't know. I constantly see this happening and it honestly makes me wonder if being intelligent is becoming socially unacceptable. Maybe I'm just being a bit too analytically pensive but, it's still an interesting thought. 

Vent (ignore if offended by my problems)

Here is another thing, mainly one that pisses me off. I'm always fucking listening to other people's problems. Seriously it's all I do, I listen give advice and rarely get thanked. It's like lets see cameron, how can we make you feel like any more of a useless piece of crap oh I'v got we can tell you all our problems take your advice than act like you are not even a worthwhile friend. Worst part, most of these people are girls. Sometimes I even get the "oh you are such a nice guy". Really? Then wouldn't it make sense that you should look for someone more like me, or perhaps even me? No, that wouldn't make sense. The helpless douchebag who is erroneous in everything he does has a better chance. you know what, fuck it. 

Fall: my rendition of groundhogs day.

so, today I think I'll just write. Whatever comes to mind will be here, and I have a lot on my mind so I'm assuming it will be a lot. I find myself becoming increasingly depressed during the fall. Well, I'm not sure if depressed is even the correct word. It's more of a low ambition mixed with this want to just be by myself. It's rather curious though, for I do end up garnering a huge amount of knowledge. This is because most of the time I am just sitting in my room reading articles whether politically, astronomy, physics, or theology based, watching documentaries on netflix about government security policies (or whatever else), studying society through means of social media, or just  messing around with a melody in a music production program. I find this disassociation with society tends to make my decision making skills weaken immensely, but I won't go in to detail about that. There is also the issue of repetition that I unfortunately fall victim to. Every single day seems the same, none more exciting than the other. This was just a thought but, I wonder sometimes if people are just oblivious or stupid... probably both but, that's not the present issue. Anyways, that's about all I have I guess other than the usual complaints. So, until next time.

progression of my writing... not sure if I agree with the change

“Good Readers and Good Writers” Reaction Paper
Cameron Reed
Block G


Philosophy is a strange thing, and though it may seem to just be that major that gets college undergrads no where it shows up in more ways than we generally perceive. Vladimir Nabokov’s work “Good Readers and Good Writers” to me seems to just be an exploration in the philosophy of scripture. To my dismay though, he tends to have a rather closed minded approach to the topic which although insulting at times, ex: his escapade into what a reader should and should not do “Or, and this is the worst thing a reader can do, he identifies himself with a character in the book.”, since I believe it is more of a personal preference, leads to some very broad topics of discussion.
I generally speaking have a liking for books that teach on a topic of my interest. I have grown fond of works that discuss ideas ranging from theoretical physics to religion. Gone are the days that I will blissfully sit down to read a fiction book cover to cover. That being said, many of Nabokov’s theories coincide with my style. I enjoy reading simply for observing a point of view. From these viewpoints I can gain a better understanding for how people think and consequently a vast amount of questionable knowledge. I say questionable because, who is to say that facts are facts and fiction is fiction, but I digress. To agree with Nabokov at this point would be a very hypocritical choice since he boasts that “If one begins with a readymade generalization, one begins at the wrong end and travels away from the book before one has started to understand this” interesting though, because he also states that “Can anybody be so naive as to think he or she can learn anything about the past from those from those buxom bestsellers that are hawked around by book clubs under the heading of historical novels?... certainly not” While hold on their Mr. Nabokov, wasn’t it you that also said readymade generalizations are the path to failure in understanding a novel? Seems rather hypocritical to condemn a whole genre of works. I feel as if it is rather useful to run into such novels with a mind free of any such boundaries. Sure these authors could be leading me into a heap of useless and untrue information but why not instead praise the text for it’s pure beauty then lament it for it’s lack of accuracy. To generalize my thought on this point, I believe open mindedness in all cases is the key, no matter if you are trying to learn or simply observe.
Tediousness seems to detract from just about anything. Folding clothes for example, is a rather boring task. Yet when done correctly, even such a simple process can have rewarding results.I mean who doesn’t like a perfectly folded t-shirt that tucks away nicely in their overpriced ikea wardrobe but, may I point out you only recognize the value of the folding once you have handled the laundry a second time, and then once again as your wear said laundry. As so, books do require somewhat menial tasks such as flipping pages and visually panning the pages. The end result at first may seem all well and good but then through either further reading, or thought (because I do believe additional thinking about your reading to be vital) the reading takes on a completely different role. Not one of menial labor but rather artistic observation and general pleasure for what you have done. I very much so agree with his thought that to paraphrase time “stands between us and artistic appreciation”. He goes on to mention that “...We must have time to acquaint ourselves with it”, if I had to pick any line from the reading that a vast majority of people could agree with this would be it. I could go on and on about how I find it hard to get into a book, but the only thing that would achieve would be to display my minor symptoms of adhd. So in summary everyone needs time to fully appreciate the task at hand whether it be relaxing such as reading, or manual labor such as landscaping and Nabokov picked up on that well.
Nabokov also has a knack for picking apart general reading styles. Broadly speaking I have heard of many people saying they, to quote Nabokov, “...Identifies themselves with a character in the book”. He also seems to believe that it is the worst thing one can do. I agree with him to a point on this issue. We can not disown one as a reader for simply wanting to associate, that would be imposing on one’s personal preference. As individuals we are allowed to interpret, and appreciate art in any way we please. If their are rules to how we may appreciate something then that to me is outrageous. One can not simply deny another of personal experiences, why should they be told how to view things? Are we not a society of people who believes in having our own opinions? Nabokov even states that “... we keenly enjoy-- passionately enjoy, enjoy with tears and shivers-- the inner weave of a given masterpiece.” Displaying emotion comes differently to everyone and to procure those emotions takes different triggers for each individual so it is nearly impossible to tell someone how he or she may trigger those emotions thus rendering Nabokov’s theory erroneous.
With so many topics concerning reading skills, and tactics it would only be fair that I evaluate myself. I find that just by glancing at a freshman year essay and a more recent essay that both my writing style and ideas have grown ten fold. To elaborate I feel as if philosophy has become a key aspect of many essay related debates. I would hate to be a writer who, writes solely on topic states facts, and moves on. Debating each and every point is much more amusing for me and, as I would like to believe, for the reader also. It helps to form a solid opinion and hopefully along the way establish information that backs such arguments up. What I am terrible at is forming concise arguments. My love of lingering away from the issue on hand generally makes me lose focus. Although these lingerings may prove interesting and insightful they can implant  huge gaps in arguments that could have otherwise been airtight. For instance in AP U.S. History Mr. Bennett would always comment that my ideas were incredibly well formed and worded yet, lacked sufficient information to solidify the argument. So a great start for me would be combining my love of philosophical debate with factual evidence.

another rousing essay.

 Evil Essay

In Pokémon is Team Rocket really such evil people, or is that just what Ash makes you think? The thing is Evil is all about your perception. If you think something is evil it is completely possible for another person to think that and generally it is because your morals differentiate. When it comes down to it though, the three main traits of evil are greed, lust and intelligence.

Think about it this way did Hitler really think he was evil when he attempted to kill off the Jews? No he did not he thought he was doing the right thing and by contrast they were the evil ones for ruining Germany’s “perfect” culture/people. The Jews (and practically the rest of the world) thought he was completely insane and what he was doing was completely horrid to say the least, which shows how both sides can have a different idea of what Evil is.

Essentially though Evil is many things that are wrong with society and humankind namely greed, lust, and intelligence. Money is why people work; if not for that there would be no drive for people to work together physically and intellectually. Without a system of money everything would be much easier to get yet, there would be no way of classifying who works hard and who does not since everyone would economically be on the same level. When it comes down to it love is one of the, or the strongest human emotions and that comes from the human need to be wanted and accepted. That is especially so in society because the more one is wanted the higher they rise in social status. Lust brings love to a different level.

Lust is more of an extreme need to be loved and generally if someone wants something bad enough they will work for it, Love is no exception and sometimes one will do anything to get it sometimes even “evil” things. Intelligence can lead to many good things but just the same it can lead to many bad things. Intelligence allows humans find more than one way of doing things and basically that means if used in the wrong way powerful intellects can pursue a more cynical intellect capable of doing more evil than good. Ignorance on the other hand has a limited capacity for choices and abstraction so it’s not as easy to convince one that the act they may do is not bad whereas intelligent people can easily override that gut feeling of doing something bad.

Unfortunately though no one will ever agree on everything (since differing opinions is what makes society the way it is) so that means that an agreement on true evil in the world is theoretically impossible. Evil will always be what one person individually thinks it is making there always being different forms of evil. So really evil is not really a single concept but rather evil is anything people consider being bad or that are harmful to society.

Just an essay I wrote... read it if you want.

Hyper Masculinity: To tussle, or not to tussle. That is the question.

Media

Turn on the TV today and generally you will find a TV show with a couple of guys. At first glance you may think everything is perfectly fine in this show. Give it a closer look and you may find some disturbing dominant themes. Violence being most prominent and the hyper masculinity that comes along with it. The media has efficiently created an image of men that has been accepted by society even though it shouldn’t be tolerated.
In the media these days some of the most popular shows are of the action genre like, The Unit , that display men with no fear, and quite honestly have a brawn of brains personality. This in the eyes of young men becomes a seemingly admirable part of a lifestyle and they choose to imitate it to the fullest.  The admiration efficiently makes violence a normal part of our society when, from an ethical stand point, it should not be at all.
It is bad enough when violence is so prevalent in the media but when the structure of a men’s personality is portrayed through media it only stirs the pot even more. This occurs when such actions like viewing women as objects comes into play. This makes men more susceptible to committing some form of domestic violence because it seems like less of a crime. Another mainstay in the media is that of calling lesser masculine men such names as : fag, pussy, or wimp. It is generally overlooked that a lot of these so called wimpy men can a lot of the time be very well rounded in other aspects making them mentally strong instead of physically strong, yet the media has also deemed that unworthy of manhood. A shame that is for mentally strong men are some of the most talented out there.
It would make sense that women would not like these over the top masculine men yet oddly enough that is they type of man that a lot of women nowadays look for. This is one of the prime reasons men of violent natures are accepted in cultures because those are the men that win the best mate.  From the beginning of mankind it was always a fight to be the dominant male and it seems that from an early point in that culture to become that dominant  male you had to win the best female. The media has kept that idea alive and at this rate seems to have no plans to change it, unfortunately because little do they know it but the females are suffering because of their choice.
The media as we know it can be a helpful tool. Just the same it can be destructive as is the case of how it displays our men. Hopefully someday someone will get it right and redefine the man of our culture in a way everyone can admire and aspire to be, someone who is kind, smart, ethical and tough in the correct way. As for now The only advice one can offer is to be a man who wants the best in himself and strives to find the best in others.

#wholeworldproblems

well, the time comes again when I shall update my blog. No one reads it anyways so might as well blabber on. Anyways, I have been reading quite the interesting novel by michio kaku, titled parallel worlds. In the book we are brought on an adventure not only at a molecular level but also to a universe wide scale. What I have noticed most is that by reading about such things, my life, seems so much more... well small. I'm just an ant in an anthill that sort of thing. Which then makes me contemplate why we give life such little effort, no matter what you believe it life is a gift who knows what for or from who but it most certainly is so prosper while you can for who knows what the universe or universes (multi-verse theory) holds after life. Our reality is relatively insignificant to that of what their can be anyways with such things as paralell universes possible why must we complain about spilled milk? why?

And the new year starts

Imagine this, you are a fish. You live in a small pond. That pond is all you can see and your only idea of what the outside world is like. This may formulate an argument with the thesis being well cameron if that pond is all I know about the outside world well I won't know much will I? OF COURSE THATS THE POINT. Well that was how many places were before we had social networks of any kind. When I say that I mean before any form of communication (eg: television,telephone, telegraph) These were the years human oppression was the easiest and such regimes are easily noted. Most coming from religious sects and forming noble families who for some outrageous reason were the leaders out of divine reasons. Religion in my opinion is one of the biggest contributors to sufferance of any kind prior the say the 18th century. Unfortunately we had little understanding of how the universe worked and religion filled that void. With that though there were those who exploited this population. People are generally weak (mentally) so one strong follower could easily control these people. Originally religion didn't have much of a basis but as soon as these in power understood the might of their positions they realized how easily they could enforce ways to keep it that way. So that can easily explain for certain religious "commandments" all they had to do was say it was from god and boom easy brainwash. Today though we can easily undermine any such lie one of high power might formulate so maybe we as humans only needed connection for fight such powers and look at how we have advanced in the wake of such freedom, incredible isn't it?