A journal for your thoughts?

Today I feel I have learned more than just about any in school day. Why? Perhaps it has to do with my freedom of roaming through the internet using my own interests to educate myself not what the government wants me to learn, but this isn't the moral of today's story. I discovered something about myself which was more or less that I don't like not being connected to the outside world. If correct in my assumption there is a high possibility that it is the main reason for my anxiety attacks. Thus making a feasible argument for my big city aspirations. This led me to wonder why people live where they do. Maybe small town folks live in those localities because they have little to prove or are more content with an uneventful life. which would mean those who want the most out of everyday would live in cities, which would sort of go against my theory considering sometimes I just want to be left alone and have nothing to do with anything. So what it all comes down to I guess is well, people just as life is are confusing.

Education, or the theory of it.

I as most other kids my age go to a school, a small town school, which is pretty much your run of the mill learning environment. I have noticed a problem quite recently. Why is it that we base our education system solely on grades. Isn't it more important to educate our children on a wide variety of subjects and use in depth material? Isn't it more important for children to be able to think for themselves instead of regurgitating facts? Logically the answer to both of those to questions is yes but, it seems that we have become anything but logical people. We shouldn't be pressuring our children to get the highest gpa but rather to learn the most they can and to find their passion. Life is short so why bother being depressed and attuned to the corporate system whilst you could be living a happy life doing what makes you happiest? My answer? Well, I'm just a kid so give me a multiple choice question and then maybe I can cross off a few options and answer.

The titanic... is going down.

why do I consistently do this to myself, I find one thing that is wrong in my life then build it up till it gets me so depressed I can't even think straight. There is seriously something wrong with me it's gotten to the point where I feel I am quite an apathetic person. It kills and I can barely stand it. Help me.

Me, myself, and society.

Attention, and our need for it has turned us into social zombies. With only one thing on our minds: recognition. We all want a piece of that incredibly sweet pie. For that makes us people who the world will view as successful and the illusion that is being popular. Screw intellectualism, in the minds of a majority of the world's human inhabitants they all think they have something special to offer. With the advancements in technology and information sharing this has made the mirage all that more "real" when it quite simply is out of reach. Do not for a second think you can make all that much of a difference in the world, do not dream of false realities where you are the one who can achieve things others can't. If you were not one of great talent from the get go you never will don't lie to yourself, all in all modesty is the only remedy for your sickness and there is no psychology out there that will suggest otherwise. This was a very anger fused rant but just the same it's an opinion of mine that has been begging to receive sunlight. Besides, no one reads this blog so it's just as well that anger is viewed by a very select few.

eggs and gravy. pave me?

Hmmm what to write about well about a month into school I find myself in an interesting situation. My grades are sub par unfortunately. I'm not sure what to credit it to, probably my lack of studying. I mean I do my homework just well, not perfectly. I don't exactly pour all my knowledge into my work to be completely honest I'm a very smart kid (according to test scores and various important people). I think that can all be summed up as I DONT HAVE A WORK ETHIC.... and that is killing me. ugh. Oh well I'm just trying to not stress out because that only adds to a fiery pit of self destruction. But anyways kids, thats just how the cookie crumbles.